Are you selfish in your love?
Q. It is never easy for a selfish person to see his selfishness, but selfishness hurts the other party and destroys the relationship, and these are signs of selfishness in love:
1- Laziness:
Are you usually excited and interested in doing something that brings you pleasure? And if your partner wants to do something you are not passionate about, do you feel bored and uncomfortable?
2- Your partner gives up in discussions:
Every time a debate rages about something you do or a place you visit, do you end up doing things your way even if that means leaving your partner completely unhappy? Your partner might give up because he loves you unconditionally and wants to see you happy, but it is only a matter of time before he starts to feel that his right is undermined in the relationship.
3- Believing that your partner is complaining about you:
Do you find your partner repeating the same things he says over and over again to you? Like: “Have you forgotten that again? “It might be annoying to hear your partner complaining about you all the time, but every time he complains he needs you to learn that he is not trying to bother you and he does it just because you are not trying to hear him.
4- Belief that what you do in life is of immense value:
You may have a good job with a very good salary, but this does not at all mean that you should receive a better treatment in the relationship and if you really think that you are more than important and your choices are more important than the choices of your partner, then you are selfish.
5- Do not trust your partner easily:
You love your partner, but you are always careful about fully trusting him because you think that the person who can make you happy is you, and even if your partner is a wonderful man, you fulfill your needs first before the needs of the other party because you think that this is what the other party will do anyway.
6- Don't apologize:
Does the word "sorry" get stuck in your throat every time you apologize to the other party? Do you stand up for yourself even if you fully know you are wrong? On the other hand, would you become angry or upset if your partner did not apologize for a mistake he did? Failure to apologize is not a problem for the individual, but rather a problem for the other party.
7- Not accepting your partner:
If you want your partner to accept you as you are, you must accept him as he is, and if you expect him to be a perfect person, then you are selfish, then you must know that criticizing the other party and trying to change it destroys the relationship, so you must accept him as he is so that you can enjoy a strong, long-term relationship, a relationship tinged with trust, respect and affection.
Tips to overcome selfishness:
1- Put the needs of the other party before yours:
The next time when you do anything with your partner or anyone else in the community around you, stop and help others to get what they want first, such as food or comfort ... etc. You must always remember that you are a special person and you must fulfill your needs but on others Fulfilling their needs as well.
2- Put yourself in the other person's shoes:
You have to think about other people around you and know what they are thinking of in any situation, such as your mother, your friend, your partner ... etc. The more you exercise empathy and question what others feel, the more you can get rid of selfishness in a short time. Selfishness is a learned behavior that can be eliminated.
3- Always remember that you are not more important than anyone else:
Selfish people always think that they are the center of this universe, so you have to get rid of this idea, you have to think and see yourself as a person like other people and not see yourself as a better person because you have more money or more beauty or more talent than the person standing next to you, because you are a very small part of this world. Amazing, you have to be humble and simple.
4- Ask yourself what you want and what you need:
Selfish people always repeat "I want" thinking that the world should be theirs and that they deserve everything they dreamed of, even if it was small, so you should stop and ask yourself, Do you really need this set of dresses? Or choose this restaurant when you go to eat with your partner? You have to enjoy simplicity. Instead of buying ten dresses, you can buy one or two dresses, so you have to learn about half-solutions so that you can enjoy good relations with people.
5- feel grateful
Thank God for the things that you are grateful for. Think about everything and anything wonderful in your life. And do not focus on the things that you do not possess or the things that you dreamed of having you and dismiss the word "if" from the dictionary of your life because it can destroy your day and your life as it is, so you must Be happy with what you have, such as friends, health, and your loving partner.
6- Listen to your partner:
Selfish people are bad listeners, and this is because they are busy with their struggles and problems. The next time you talk to your partner or anyone else, listen to what the other party is saying. For every conversation, there should be a 50% exchange of ideas from each party.
- 29 Aug, 2020
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